Big Sean - I Don't Fuck With You (feat. E-40)
Asked By: Anonymous
No, “popularity” has not changed me. It took a while to get to where I am. Two years ago I went through a horrible depression and no one knew what I was dealing with. My best friend had an idea but she didn’t think it was as severe or serious as it was, so I hid my reality from her. I would go to the doctors alone because my even my mom had no clue what I was going through. I was weak and I didn’t want her to see me in that state. I was planning to kill myself and she didn’t even know it. After many failed attempts, I knew that I was sick. I thought I was so strong but there I was having a breakdown with no help. I knew I had to change in order to go on. So I did just that, I changed my look and gradually worked in my mental state and emotions to feel better about myself. I didn’t really talk to anyone because I cut everyone off, so the Internet became my only escape. If anything I have grown so much in the last two years and social media became an outlet to document my self-growth and progress. I feel like all the popularity was a result of me learning to love myself and finally being satisfied with who I am. I went from feeling literally like nothing, I had no self worth, no confidence but I found myself through all that pain and self doubt. I wanted to prove it to myself that I am enough. All the growth and self-gratification made me strong and confident and people started noticing. If you have been following me for years, you probably remember all my depressing posts, quotes and questions and see that I really didn’t love myself because I actually believed I wasn’t worthy. I did not become the person I am through popularity, if anything I gained popularity because of the person I became.